FPoT Day 25

Taking LO to school is hard.  I'd say that 75% of the days over the last two years at school have involved some sort of anxiety, whining, or all out meltdown starting within minutes of him getting out of bed and lasting until after drop-off.  When he first started school I knew he would need time to adjust.  After a couple of months, he started to do pretty well.  Then a couple of weeks before NB was born, he was back to meltdown mode.  I figured he sensed the pending changes and was anxious about them.  He never recovered.  Through last spring, summer and the fall he has continued to have a hard time.  For six of those months NB was waking us all up every night, so I thought it was a chronic sleep deprivation issue.  In the last couple of weeks, we've started to have some decent days here and there.  I thought we'd reached a turning point.  Then it became clear that his teacher was feeding him every day.  Sometimes leftover hash browns from her own son's breakfast, sometimes her own cereal.  I wrestled with how to handle that, and finally decided to ignore it since it couldn't last forever.  (even though I didn't like it).  Then LO had stomach issues a couple of days and we stressed needing to know everything he ate.  Suddenly he reports he's having "no snacks" at school.  In the meantime we've been back to rocky drop-offs and anxious whining all morning.  Sigh. Last Thursday and this past Tuesday were awful.  DH was so flustered he forgot what he was doing when he went to the dry cleaners after dropping LO off.  The woman corrected him TWICE.  On Tuesday I dropped him off.  I had to drag him down the hall.  NB was having a rough morning too, so I walked down the hall dragging my toddler and toting my baby, both screaming.  I smiled "good morning, we're here!" As if they hadn't noticed.  I couldn't make it to the car before I felt tears streaming down my face.

So that's the back story.  There really was a favorite part of my day today.  Once again DH was a-ma-zing today.  DH is a softie.  I am not so much.  Where I get frustrated, embarrassed, angry, and tearful at the whole school drop-off drama, he is heart-broken.  I see an impetuous, manipulative toddler, he sees wide, scared eyes.  I hear "seek first to understand, then to be understood" and promise myself to be better at that, then fail.  DH has probably never heard that until tonight, but he actually does it.  When I say that he is the yin to my yang, the sweet to my salty, the balance in my life and an awesome dad and father, this is the stuff I'm talking about.

DH stays to sit with LO for breakfast most mornings even though it makes him late for work, because I am upstairs nursing NB, and LO doesn't like to a) wait to eat or b) eat alone.  This morning he started in with the "I don't wanna go to school, Da."  To which I would normally sigh internally and say, "sorry to hear that buddy" or "ok, well tell me something you do want." DH asked him "why?". Which we have asked before and not gotten anywhere.  LO said he's scared of school, but couldn't say why.  He's been "scared" of a lot of things lately, so it's hard to say if he really is or just finding that being scared is a legitimate excuse for some things.  In any case, DH had the brilliant idea to make going into school a game.  When I came downstairs, DH asked LO to tell me what they had planned.  LO said they were going to sneak into school.  DH elaborated and explained, as he demonstratively tip-toed through he kitchen, that they were going to creep in like ninjas, hide quickly around corners, whisper hello to the super cheerful director or school, and keep creeping.  Truly, if nothing else came of this, DH made both NB and me laugh with his display.  LO seemed to get more excited about the prospect, and I did what I could to build it up.

I met DH for lunch today and he reported that they ran into the building through the rain, then they did indeed creep like ninjas down the hallway.  Several parents saw him and knowingly smiled.  The director got the idea and whispered hello instead of being overly cheerful.  There was a little whimpering at the last seconds, but all in all he reported it was the best drop-off in a long time.

So I think the favorite part of my day were the minutes just before I left for work when DH was explaining and acting out their ninja plan.  I was once again struck by his grace with LO and his dedication to finding a new option for handling an old problem.

Oh yeah, and the other amazing thing DH did today was voluntarily go shopping and successfully buy picture outfits for both boys.  He also made a valiant effort at getting something for me.  How many hubbies do that? Mine managed to accomplish all of these things (ninja entrance and shopping) before lunch!