11 weeks

Wow!  What a week this last one has been.  We have struggled with some major sleep changes.  DH and I had been letting NB sleep in his swing.  We knew that had to come to an end and that we had to start creating some healthy sleep habits now that NB was getting to be the age that he could have solid sleep at night.  We had talked about it and agreed to let everyone have one week of uninterrupted sleep, then move NB to the bassinet.  That was before, however, his torticollis was confirmed by Dr H and we started having to torture ourselves and NB with neck exercises with every diaper change.  I really felt the swing was either causing or contributing to his torticollis and felt we needed to get him our sooner.  What was the point of stretching him six times a day, then letting him sleep crooked for 10 hours at night?

So on Thursday night DH and I took the plunge and laid NB down to sleep in the pack and play.  After just 45 minutes our angel who had slept through the night for over a week woke up the whole house crying.  I coaxed him back to sleep.  Another 45 minutes passed, and he was awake again.  This time, I begged DH to get him.  He did and did not return for the rest of the night.  Unfortunately I didn't sleep during that time because I heard NB cry periodically and in between wondered what DH was doing and if he needed help.  I knew getting NB to sleep lying flat and still was going to take a couple of rough nights, but I thought we'd still get two or more hours of sleep at a time.  If night one was any indication, we were in for far worse.  We had not been through this with LO.  He slept in his car seat (due to reflux) for eight weeks, then moved to his crib and never looked back.  NB's second night was worse...if that was possible.  I took the job of responding in the night and I was up putting a paci in his mouth every 30 to 45 minutes from 10 pm to 2 am, at which time I caved and let him sleep on my chest on the couch until I nursed him finally at about 5 am.  It was a small victory to have not picked him up until 2 am, but replacing the paci every 45 minutes was no real solution. DH was working 12 hour day shifts in the meantime, and the rest of us were at home bleary eyed and crabby from sleep deprivation.  I was a mess trying to keep my cool with two cranky kids while DH worked hard all day on little sleep, then came home to the three of us in our random, unpredictable emotionally fragile moods.  Something had to give.  On my end, all I had left was prayer and a lot of tears.

With dread, we hunkered down for night three.  We had moved NB to the bassinet on the first night and DH suggested we place it in a less drafty location.  I purchased some swaddle sacks since NB is getting too big for our favorite swaddling blankets, but still has the startle reflex that wakes him easily from sleep. DH agreed to take the first shift, and NB woke, like clockwork, 45 minutes after we put him down.  DH replaced the paci, then I fell fast asleep and was blissfully unaware of NB making a peep for about 4 hours.  During that time DH managed to not respond to NB's every little peep, and we were thrilled that he put himself to sleep several times. Progress!  Night four NB was hard to put to sleep and we finally settled him into the bassinet in our room at about 9:45.  We planned to nurse him again when he woke at 10:30, then put him down for the night at his spot in the living room.  Instead, 11 pm rolled around and he was still asleep.  DH and I had to sleep on the couch until NB finally woke at 2 am.  He slept four and a half hours without a peep!  Since it had been 7 hours since he ate, I nursed him then and put him back down.  He slept three more hours. Last night we took a small step back.  NB was up at midnight to nurse, then at 2:30 am very irritable for about 45 minutes.  It took two of us to get him back to sleep until about 6:30 am when he nursed again.  The middle of the night irritability had never been a problem for him, so I'm hoping it was a fluke.  He slept very well during the day yesterday, taking two to three hour naps several times.  Maybe that had something to do with the night waking. Even with two nursings and trouble going back to sleep, we were better off than on night one of this transition. We had less sleep those first two nights than we had any other night when he was a newborn.  Now we are at least mostly back to the once a night wakings we had shortly before he had learned to sleep through the night in the swing.  We are hopeful that he will transition back to our seven or eight hour nights very soon.

On the upside, after several days of NB screaming through his neck stretches like we were torturing him, DH found he is much more tolerant of them if we do them in our laps rather than on the couch.  I'm not sure if we get quite as good of a stretch, but I think we do well enough and don't feel awful for it afterwards.  I know I'm looking for NB to make some progress, but I really think he has been moving his head in both directions more easily.  He still rests with it tilted, but I think we've made some small improvements.

NB was going crazy with his legs this week!

Part of NB's therapy is also to really encourage tummy time.  I think I've been better about getting more of that in this past week.  That has given him the chance to practice rolling over, which he did twice last  Thursday!

Are you watching? Here I go!

Ugh, how does this work again?

Oh yeah, now we're talking!

LO says "Good job rolling over!"

He hadn't done it since until picture time today, but frequently turns his whole torso on its side to look up at a toy while leaving his lower body anchored to the play mat.  It seems terribly uncomfortable, especially when just a little kick would set him on his back again.  I'm sure he'll figure that out soon.  While on his back, he is practicing getting his hands to his mouth.  He often holds them in the air, flexed at the elbow, then smacks himself in the face trying to get a fist to his mouth.  He looks like a little boxer, then boxes his own nose.

NB has also really been enjoying bath time.  He kicks a lot and LO really likes to see him splash me with the water.  NB has also been more vocal both in and out of the bath.  This comes in small doses, but when he gets going he seems to have a lot to say.  He has thrown a few more laughs in there too.

This week marks my return to work.  I have a lot of mixed emotions about that.  I wonder where the time went.  I feel guilty that I didn't have more of myself to give to the boys.  I feel grateful to have had nearly twelve weeks and can't imagine how we would have managed some of the rough patches if I'd had to work too.  I feel excited to get back to that part of my life.  I feel a little nervous about how I'll get through the hours of five to seven providing healthy meals, bath, and bed for two boys when I've worked all day.  Will I have anything left for DH? Myself?  Then I feel a little reassured, I know how dynamic this season of motherhood is.  I know that both the beauty and the challenges of it will change all too fast.  For now, I will try to enjoy my last few days of leave, then place one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, and see what unfolds in the days after.

monkey see, monkey do