Our Nursing Story, pt 3

After we all started sleeping through the night, a lot of things started to settle down. I was fortunate to only really work a few days during December, so we had a little longer to work on my stored supply and to figure out how to juggle nursing you and working. You were really closer to twelve weeks by the time I had to do both regularly. Of course my regular job was part-time, so I would nurse you in the morning, run to work, and rush home before the next time to nurse you again. The only full day I worked was Fridays. I am so grateful that I was able to work this way. Working part-time has been a blessing for me and, hopefully to you and your Dad in so many ways. So on Fridays we both got up early, I nursed you, ran to the hospital, then got to work early enough to pump before starting my day and again at lunch time. I tried to make it home in the evening in time to nurse you for dinner and again at bedtime. In the beginning it was a lot of work, but I never thought about doing it any other way. It was a huge help though when you started to space out your feedings. As you went to four and finally three feedings a day, it was less of a race to make it back to you in time. You continued to take an unusually long time to nurse for many months. Thirty to 45 minutes on each side was the norm. I always had to break your latch as you very rarely would stop nursing yourself.

You have always been a very busy boy during your nursing time. Even when you were just a few months old you would have a foot or a hand always moving. Sometime in April or May you got even busier as you became distracted by anything and everything. It was common for you to nurse just ten or fifteen minutes and then roll away from me. I mean roll completely away, off the nursing pillow. I tried to be patient with you, but I was having to redirect you eight or ten times each side. I began to wonder if you were weaning yourself, simply no longer interested. I gave it about a month, then I talked to some lactation consultants who were also professional acquaintances of mine. They encouraged me to give you another month. In doing more reading I learned that it is unusual for a baby to wean himself before a year. It didn't help that this was happening at the same time that your pediatrician had said he thought you should eat more. In the end, though, I decided to stop redirecting you and just let you be finished when you rolled away. It was hard to do, but I figured that if I was willing to let you not nurse, I should also be willing to let you nurse less. Sure enough, you had just become more efficient and were finally nursing for the same amount of time as most other babies had been doing for months. Of course other babies were still nursing less than you, but that was ok. It was a great break for me too. Suddenly we had more time in our day to play or go out.

Through the summer we've been pretty much on cruise control. The automatic nursing that I thought we'd have after a few weeks did finally happen. I'm not sure when it became second nature to us, but I'm glad it did. Around June you began to nurse sitting up. At first it was nice to have a new position and to have to have our nursing pillow. Somewhere along the line you stopped nursing any other way. Just this past weekend I packed away our nursing pillow. It has been the first nursing thing to go. I was a little sad putting it away knowing it may not come out again. Sitting up has also meant the end to the snuggly part of nursing. In fact now you often try to multi-task while nursing, moving around to reach for a toy or trying to stand in my lap. (Not fun for mom) Once again it seems you are about to be too busy for this kind of time together. Indeed you sometimes will spend just twenty minutes total on the task.

While I am so very glad that we've been able to come this far, nursing has not been without its problems. I've had several bouts of blocked ducts which seem to come in clusters. My right side has never pumped as well as the left, so anytime I've had to pump a lot I've risked having duct issues. I've also had near continuous milk blebs for the last three (at least) months which may have been related. Lately I've taken to piercing those with a sterile needle, sometimes almost daily. It's not as bad as it sounds, but is not for the faint of heart. My current work arrangement is such that I work two days a week now, but am completely off the other five. About four to six times a year I have to work a full week to cover for my colleague while he's on vacation. The first full week I had to work was in August. It took nearly three weeks for me to get through several episodes of duct and bleb issues. The next week I have to work is in mid-October. With that in mind, I have decided to try to wean your noon nursing before then. So, on the day after you turned 11 months, I started feeding you the food part of your lunch before nursing you. It was so hard for me to see you cry and look confused at lunch time when I put you in your high chair. You cried again when I wiped your face and hands, but laughed when you finally realized I would still nurse you. It has taken a week for you to get used to this new routine. It seems that as distracted and busy as you are, you aren't ready to give this up entirely.

I used to think that it was selfish, strange, or unhealthy to continue to nurse a child well into his toddler years. We know that human milk does not offer any significant nutritional advantages beyond the first twelve months. Before I became a mom I used to say that it was time to wean when babies got teeth. Really I meant that I personally wasn't so interested in nursing that I was willing to be bitten. You have now bitten me a number of times, none were nearly as bad as the blebs and duct issues I've had on my own. None were anywhere near as painful as you biting my finger while I try to brush your teeth. Now that we've nursed together these eleven months, I can see the benefit of nursing longer. I don't know that I am ready to handle making you stop as long as you are interested. I know the nutritional benefits are coming to an end, but the emotional and psychological benefits remain.

For my own health, we will replace our lunchtime nursing with cow's milk next month. I also look forward to sleeping on my stomach (for the first time in 18 months) starting next month. I will finally resurrect my workouts and dress for them without concern for my supply. Those are a lot of changes that may affect your nursing, but, assuming you're still interested and I'm still able, we'll see where the rest of it goes from there.