Expectations

Until you came along, expectations had always seemed like good and necessary things. In many ways they still are. For instance, your Dad and I expect to raise you to be a respectful and obedient son. We expect you to do your best (and to do well) in school. We expect a lot out of ourselves too. In our nearly eleven years together a lot has been expected of us, and, I expect, you will expect a lot of us in years to come. During our professional training, we were often graded based on whether we met or exceeded expectations. The goal was always to exceed them. (That meant we got an "A", and we like those!) Somewhere in the last year, expectations started to get the better of us. Maybe I should say unrealistic expectations did. In fact, I'd say most of our stress and frustrations could all be traced back to a need to have our expectations adjusted...lower. So last week when your Dad and I looked forward to three glorious days in our favorite beach getaway, we asked ourselves just what our expectations should be. After our last vacation, we weren't so sure that "glorious" was in the cards. I mentioned our plans to a friend of mine, and she (who had just returned from a beach trip with her two children) said "just make sure your expectations are in the right place." I replied "they are pretty low." "Good!" she said. But as I thought about it, I wondered if my expectations really were low enough. Your Dad and I had a talk where he encouraged me to lower my expectations further.

Here's what we came up with:

• we hoped to make it to the beach (period...walk there, walk back)
• we hoped to take you to the pool once
• we hoped you'd sleep at night
• we didn't expect you to nap at all
• we knew you'd cry more as you got more tired

Once we had our expectations set, we prepared to head out. Then I checked the weather forecast. It was supposed to rain two of the three days. What was initially a 30-40% chance of rain became 70-80% in the local paper. We hadn't expected that! SO how did things turn out? That's a story for another post.