2 weeks old!!

Two weeks ago at this time, DH, my OB, her nurse and I were all working hard to help little one get here. I feel like I should have some profound post to mark his two week milestone, but, alas, I think all profundity went out the window about 13 nights ago. DH and I have joked several times lately that we have "lost our 'A' game." Indeed, mine has been missing for nearly 9 months. I apparently traded it in for the only thing in the world that is precious enough to get away with waking me every 2-3 hrs 24/7. It's a good trade.

The last two weeks have flown by. I knew that they would. I had a sense the whole time of wanting to hold on to every little thing. The newness of my son. The first time DH noticed that he smiles after he sneezes. The 15 minutes of yawning and stretching and sweet faces when he wakes up. he grasp of his tiny hand. The way he likes to hang like a little monkey over DH's arm. The smell of his clean head after a bath. The softness of his lips as he roots on my neck. The relief of his first yellow seedy poop (that meant he was feeding well). The resolution of his jaundice. I wanted to hold onto the hard things too. Trying to stay awake in the middle of the night to make sure he was awake enough to eat. The fear of whether he'd still be breathing when I woke up again. The panic of him gagging and not knowing where his suction was. The frustration of his crying and rooting frantically at my chest and not knowing why he wouldn't eat. The fear and sadness on DH's face when he is worried that something might be wrong with his darling son. Many of these hard things are over now, and there is much relief in having figured them out or seen them pass. Still, as I wanted to hold onto all of these and many more things, I could feel the memories pass. It is sad to know there were so many other moments that we will never have again and I did not get to record somehow.

Still there is much joy and anticipation for the moments to come. We have had several firsts in the last 2 weeks, but know that there are a lot more left. We've had a first bath (complete with video...thanks April!) , first smile (though likely gas, it still lights up his face), we are looking around more and fixing our gaze on faces and toys, and, today, our first fluffy bum! (thanks to a good friend who lent us her cloth diaper stash) We have also had 5 nights in a row that went well. Feedings still take about 60-90 minutes every 3-4 hrs at night, but I think we have figured out how to get LO to sleep afterwards. Neither DH nor myself have had to sit up with him at 2 am since last week. I am starting to figure out a bit of a routine for ourselves. I'm not sure it will work once I go back to work, but it should get me a shower most days between now and then. That, I think, is an accomplishment.

Coming up this week, I hope to start talking to some women who may become our nanny. Also, DH will have to return to work on Thursday. We have dreaded that for a while, but are trying to enjoy the last few days. Grams will come visit on Thursday and will stay for a week. That should be a great help, and we look forward to having her.

I feel like there should be more to say about our first two weeks, but it is time for another feeding. Thank you again to all of our visitors, those of you who have called, sent flowers, gifts, fruit or meals. You've made the last 2 weeks much easier and we love you for it!

I'll close with some pics of our little guy in his monkey pose, yawning, and with his first fluffy bum. Enjoy!