So back in May when NB was just 4 weeks old, DH had just returned to work, and my mom was here to help me navigate the waters of juggling my two boys semi-solo, LO made his great escape. From the crib that is. I had been watching him on the monitor and sitting in the sun room. My mom had asked (maybe just the day before) when she heard a thud during nap time, if LO had jumped out of his crib. He had not. We had seen him get his foot on the railing a few months earlier and told him not to. That had been enough that we hadn't seen him try it again. We planned to wait until NB was sleeping through the night in his crib before we made the switch to LO's toddler bed. LO LOVED his crib. He loved it so much we opted to buy a new crib for NB so LO wouldn't feel ousted by his baby brother. We wanted him to have that familiar spot when he heard us up with a crying newborn at night. I knew it was a risk to wait, but the combination of him being a pretty obedient toddler and a late walker (therefore late climber) we thought made it a risk worth taking. His crib converted to a toddler bed, so, when the time came, it would still feel very familiar to him. Still, LO is a pretty anxious guy, change is tough for him. We wanted to make it as easy on him as possible. Needless to say, that Tuesday afternoon when I saw him throw his Lovie out of the crib then teeter on the edge of the crib rail, when I saw the subtle shift in his weight that meant he was going over, when I heard the thud as I was mid-stride in the living room, then flying up the stairs to as he screamed, in those moments, 'easy' was no longer an option. The good news is that nothing was broken. He was bruised up and scared out of his mind. After I got him calmed down, I began to try to figure out how exactly bed time was going to go that evening.
The short answer was "not well." The clincher here is that LO's door jamb was not properly aligned so that his door would not close. I was nursing NB every two to three hours all night, so I couldn't be much help teaching NB to stay in a toddler bed. Furthermore, I couldn't find the hardware needed to convert his crib over to a toddler bed. With DH working until almost 7 pm and LO going to bed at 7pm, we had little time to discuss options. DH voted to put LO's mattress on on the floor for the night, I voted to try putting him in his crib, but put pillows in the floor in case he climbed out. I won, sort of. I hoped he had be scared enough by climbing out that he wouldn't do it again. I was wrong. We put him in his crib and he was out before I had to door pulled to. Once he found the pillows broke his fall, nothing deterred him. We must have put him back in his crib five times and he was out lightening fast. Our only option was to put the mattress on the floor. He, of course, didn't like that. It wasn't where the mattress was supposed to be. Since I couldn't help put him back repeatedly in his bed (what I advocate for parents to do until kids learn they have to stay there), we opted to just be happy with keeping him in his room...which we couldn't do because the door wouldn't close. That night LO screamed for a couple of hours as DH and I took turns sitting in the hall holding his door shut. When he fell asleep, we crept downstairs, then only a couple of hours later we found LO on the stairs calling for DH. DH had LO duty all night since I had to be nursing NB. He spent at least as much time holding the door as I did nursing. My poor mom across the hall says she slept through the whole thing. Not sure how that is possible, but I'm glad at least one grown up had some sleep for the next day.
The next morning I was a mom on a mission. I called our handyman, David, and left a voice mail explaining that we desperately needed our little houdini's door to be fixed ASAP. That morning, David became my third favorite man in the world...second only to the anesthesiologists who gave me epidurals and my DH. He couldn't come until afternoon, but we weren't napping anyway. I was on door-holding patrol and LO was busy screaming and thrashing like a caged lion. It was no big deal to end that a little early! When David was done not only did the door close, but it locked from the outside. I had also found toddler doorknob protectors for the insides, and the hardware to convert the bed. Between nursing NB, my mom held him and I converted the bed, ran to Target to spend too much money on every possible thing I could think of to make a new bed more fun, and began to talk to LO about the new look for his old crib. I found sheets with diggers, a dump truck pillow, a smaller pillow for his head, and a ladybug nightlight that put stars on the ceiling. I actually thought he might like some part of it enough to give it a try. I was wrong.
That night began the long painful process of LO standing his ground against sleeping in his toddler bed. I spent most of the rest of the week exhausted and in tears. Not uncommon for the mom of a four week old except when you consider the tears were over my toddler not my newborn. I'm embarrassed that my mom saw such a low point for us, yet I know I could not have navigated that week without her help. If my mom couldn't see it, there was definitely no one else who could. LO refused to nap for over two weeks. He screamed for two solid hours every day, raging over being made to stay in his room, and getting more and more exhausted so he became more difficult every day. At night he screamed for a while, then finally settled on his bed. The first several nights he got up and tried to door several times, then he finally gave up. When he finally decided to nap again it wasn't on his bed. Instead he positioned himself on the floor so he could look under the door for us coming up the stairs. I addressed that by placing a towel on the floor so he couldn't see. He still lay that way. On one hand I was grateful he was napping again. On the other, I knew the floor couldn't be that comfortable. He napped that way every single day (save one according to Nanny K) for over six months. I truly came to believe he would outgrow his naps before he would take one in his bed. I came to be okay with that. What I wasn't okay with is that about three months later, he began sleeping in the same spot at night too. That distressed me a bit. I knew eventually he'd move back to his bed, but also knew he was sleeping poorly on the floor. That meant a cranky, tired LO indefinitely! I talked to a colleague to see if he had any ideas in his extra 20 years of experience. His advice was for me to get over it. He had struggled with the same thing with his daughter years ago and, even when she was spanked for being out of bed, she refused to stay there. I am a firm believer that we should not give our children a command to obey if we aren't prepared to provide discipline if they don't obey. DH and I talked and we felt disciplining LO for sleeping on the floor would be a tedious and losing battle. We opted to act like we didn't care where he slept as long as it was in his room. That is how, for six months, LO slept on the floor for naps, and, for three months, he slept there at night.
Fast forward to 8 days ago. We had our carpets steam cleaned on Friday morning and they were still wet at nap time. We were concerned that LO, who has very sensitive skin, would react badly to whatever was still wet on the carpets. I was working, but apparently DH just told LO he had to sleep in his bed. LO screamed that he didn't want to. DH insisted and walked out of the room wondering what he'd do if LO didn't. When LO quieted down, DH checked the monitor to find he had settled in his bed! At bedtime the floors were still wet, so we insisted again. LO resisted, screamed, but stayed in bed all night. I practically danced up the stairs and gushed praises at him the next morning. Saturday morning LO commented that the floors were dry, so he could sleep on the floor again. I really thought he would, but, the pattern continued! We don't consider anything in this house a trend until it lasts at least a week. At this point it has been 8 days and LO has been in his bed every time. He no longer has a fit over it. I am just so pleased every time I look at the monitor and see he is still there! He has been asking to have the toddler rail removed from the bed for a week or so, but I didn't want to change anything right away. This morning I decided it was ok to go ahead, and he seems really excited to be in his bed again. He has used the excuse that his bed is cold...maybe from a draft from the vent over his bed. He seems more comfortable there when he sleeps on the warm green fleece blanket Grams gave him last year. We had to wash it today, so these other baby blankets are filling in. I have no idea if that is truly the reason he moved to the floor to start with. I guess I never will. What I do know is that we are so very, very excited to have him back in his bed!
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