Letter to my post-partum self

Dear self,

In fewer than six weeks you will probably be home with a newborn again.  It's ok that you aren't sure you are ready for that.  All of your projects will get done, and you still probably won't feel ready.  There are a few things I want you to remember when you are in that place again.  I will try to remember them all now and tell you them because I know you won't want to hear them from anyone else.  There are some things that you can say that no one else can.  So here goes.  When you come back later and read this, try to actually listen, will you?

First off, yes, you can do this and you might even do it well.  How many girlfriends have you reassured as they brought their second ones home?  They figured it out, you will too.  Oh yeah, and your husband rocks, remember?  He knows how to do everything you can't get to, and if neither one of you gets to it...well it's not that important anyway.  Your first born will struggle.  This will be a hard adjustment for all of you to make, but what a gift it will be for all of you.  Can you imagine what a great big brother he will be?  You just have to give him time to learn that like he's learned everything else.  You have confidence in both of them.  Show it.

There will be crying.  No matter how foolish you feel, realize that most of the crying will not be done by you.  Try to get over all of it.  Remember that it's normal.  Remember that it passes.  Remember that there is far more joy ahead than there are tears.

"You" may be unrecognizable for a while.  This is also normal.  "You" will be back.  Probably different; hopefully better.  Be patient with yourself.  Be patient with DH.  Be patient. You will cook healthy food again.  You will run again.  You will be the mom you have been, again.  It will take time for all of these. In the meantime, you will not die of take-out, egg sandwiches, or lack of regular exercise.

Try not to be a schedule, routine, or stored-milk Nazi.  It didn't work out well last time; it probably won't this time. If DH tells you to "loosen up," consider that he might be right, even if you already think you are being plenty flexible. (No one else better dare tell you this, under penalty of utter meltdown!)

While it is in your nature to try to learn from your last experience with a newborn at home, remember what you tell others.  Every baby is different, and Newbie wasn't here last time.  While it's not your first rodeo, it is his, and the ride will not be the same. Try to just enjoy the ride.

You believe that your children are chosen for you and you for them.  There is no more perfect pairing than the one you have right now.  Trust that.  Relax. Please.

If you are still reading this, then you are wasting an opportunity to either nap or shower.  Go!

Love,
Your self